Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize