I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
