I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
