Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
