walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
