I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
