I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
vagina is talking i cant
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
