YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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