i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
