So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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