I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
