i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
