There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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