the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
