I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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