So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
