why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
