My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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