you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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