okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
