Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I stole a fireplace last night.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
