I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Are we still banned from the library?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
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