MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
