i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
