Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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