i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
