he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
