Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
