the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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