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You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
