Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
