am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
