3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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