the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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