D3 body, D1 cock
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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