We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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