I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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