This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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