It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
