How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
