I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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