He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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