the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize