Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
