This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
