Can i not drive my cunt home
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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