There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
