hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
