New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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