Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
