Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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