I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize