That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
