maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
