Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
