Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
