Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
