She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
