those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
