the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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